I love my GIRL. We met online. She’s a natural sub and she thought me to be a natural dom. We got together in this cyberworld and have traveled together after. She can’t deny me anything I demand, but of course I have the sense to read her needs and her limits and don’t request what I know she can’t give me.
Once I asked her to let me follow her to pee while we were on cam. She was against it from first second and I really pressed her on this, and we almost got lost in the some principalities which actually meant little more than feeling the power of possessing her. I love the feel of my primal genes, caving my GIRL and possess her. At the same time a modern and flexible man respecting her human rights. Luckily my senses got the best and I concluded that she give me her service out of love and it comes free. Her service is a gift which I have to cherish. I have to treat that gift respectfully to keep it.
She is jealous and moody. I too have my things to stumble and fall for. We both have families, but it seems like my family is more in my commitments than her family. She has no children. I have children and grandchildren. I will not leave the sum of my life to follow an impulse for a total new life form.
Both off us have spouses. For me, if that was all I might leave mine. We have good relation, but no sex together. What begins as a vanilla love life tend to run out after a while. I really think a dom/sub relation has more to offer for commitment than a normal vanilla love life.
We often end up with creating distance between us and losing the feel of each other. But it seems such is mostly based on problems based on long distance relational issues. I think there are some issues related to difference in need too. She is into this need for pain to get pleasure. I’m more into need of dominating and commanding her to please, but it seems we both have willingness to give each other what we we want, and a strong mental connection seems to be our life line.
We are both swinging between hope to get together and despair that it will never happen. Both those feels are based on illusion and just swings in mode. She tend to call her overwhelm by this feel realism, but it really is emotion based on a feel of not having any role in creating reality. I’m more into analyzing which small steps may lead in desired direction from here.
The problem with such acts is that at long distance there is no predictability in how things actually will realize itself in life. Choices will need to be done at all the curbs in the life steam. The closer to materializing the more specific choices can affect the outcome. And at a later time it may still turn out that another choice in at an earlier curb would have been wiser. This attempt to get something in life really has its impredictability.
My best shot at present is to make choices to find it possible to meet, just a “coincidental” meeting. I put it within quotes because it really will not be coincidentally when it is based on plans, but it is coincidental in the meaning I have no plans for the choices and the effect there after. It may really be all we get, or it may set of a ravine of events. I have to act very careful. And for my GIRL it may appear to be just teasing her feelings….. like “Close, but not within reach”.
I’m really sad (or maybe I should be happy) to tell, I’m human, but my choices make impact in more than my own life. Which give me responsibility as being God, but left without the power of being able to correct much after it is done. I’m given the power to make a huge footprint, good and bad without the wisdom to foresee the full effect of what I do. And with that the happiness of a lot of people lies within my responsibility.
Nothing is easy by following ones impulses, my GIRL. I have that responsibility because I’m master for a whole department of this life. I’m not given the choice of making choices on impulse.
